Kanga's Rompdiculous Adventure
by BleachedMerc
Summary: When Kanga and Roo first come to the forest in chapter seven, everyone thinks Kanga is a fierce animal, but discover this to be untrue and become friends with her. Additionally, Tigger lives in his own house instead of with Kanga (Although he is seen frequently visiting her house). Kanga also has a love for carrots. Contains Abudin, Genga, Jasmirelda, and spoilers.


So I know what you're thinking.

No really, I do. Count to ten, take a deep breath and say it out loud with me.

You want to play Kingdom Hearts Thr-Oh! You wanna know how that whole Agrabah fiasco thing concluded. Wow. Called my bluff on that one. I figured I'd lost you all by now with THAT story. Yes, stories IF you had to be picky. Thank goodness you're not.

Wait... You are? Oh, I see. You're not going to flinch from this one, are you?

Well, alright then, you've twisted my arm and I'm going to produce another Agrabah Epic... er, I mean, finish the one I already started. Er.. no, make a sequel, I totally wasn't working up towards this all along to distract you from the true story we, er, I was working on. Nope!

So quick recap here.

A housewife without a househusband was cleaning her househouse with a broom when she found a vodka bottle which contained a complete-stranger-turned-sometimes-lover, Genie.

Meanwhile, Jafar was nursing his deeply disturbed, childhood issues by turning towards the internet, which after a long laborious struggle with the thing, wound up losing his soul to the sins within only to wind up with it magically bound to a pooh stick and then subsequently purged from all known existence by the aforementioned housewife without a househusband's son which we all assume had a Dad somewhere between complete-stranger-turned-sometimes-lovers.

Let me catch my breath.

Now, on the other side of the kingdomverse seemingly unrelated but truly not, Aladdin was running away from the Ottoman-German Empire led by the powerful Dark Lord of the Sith, (You know the one, he's on loan from the Disney that owns Star Wars now Star Wars Universe which may or may not be included in the new Disney-Marvel-Star Wars-Square-Enix Merger title: Kingdom Hearts 3) and subsequently died.

At his funeral, the Tiger-sometimes-cereal box advertiser Tony was also killed for thinking naughty thoughts centered around Aladdin's Princess without a Prince, Jasmine. Apu or Abu, we're really not sure which also fled the scene because a scandal was brewing and Aladdin's best friend in a vodka bottle decided to bring a date, that aforementioned housewife without a househusband that I told you was involved in this all along.

This riled Jasmine's feathers and she swearing off all Princes entirely (Note the one S) turned toward pursuing her own Princess. (See? Told you to note the one S.) Though she settled on Esmerelda instead.

Now, Quasimodo had a hand here to play too, but that's more important in another story so you can forget about that little one. Just thought I'd give you guys a recommendation if you were looking for something else to read.

Oops, back track back to the funeral and Aladdin's other other best friend (yeah, he has a bunch of those which you know.. raises a LOT of questions and gives tons of validation to you know.. the vodka bottles and Jasmirelda.) Carpet. Carpet may or may not have groped Jasmine in her time of need and Jasmine may or may not have slapped him on the ass as a result.

Oh and then shipped him off in a crate to Canada.

Now, how is this all relevent, I hear you ask or whisper to the person reading over your shoulder, yeah I see you, Reader's Mom or Father or Brother or Sister or Girlfriend!

Well see, Genie and that housewife without a househusband, Kanga traveled via genie magic to Canada to buy discount home furnishings!

"Oh! And that's where they met Carpet!"

Whoa there buddy and/or little lady, not quite no. See Kanga wasn't just a housewife without a husband, you're forgetting another part of her personality, she was also questionable with the complete-strangers-turned-sometimes-lovers thing, remember? She turned out to be a homewrecker, destroyed Genie's home, future and feelings and then got herself a voracious grope-happy magic carpet, Magic Carpet.

And now you're caught up!

See, you're probably happy we went through all that recap, because now you're on the same page as everyone else: Complete and totally confused. But that's okay, we don't judge here... Scout's honor. You judge here, by picking your favorite stories and or authors and totally destroying what they do. It's no biggie! Nobody's judging you... Let's just hope it's not Xemnas, he seems like a mean dude, especially in Final Mix, that guy'd kill you or make you kill yourself or your friends. It's really quite traumatic, you may want to rethink your life. Rethink everything for that matter.

So Genie grew a full beard, got covered in dirt and grime and had to remove one shoe to serve as a dish to hold pity change on the street, but Kanga didn't care she got a new carpet to sweep the crumbs under and – wait, I didn't mention the crumbs bit? Oh.. well shoot, there goes the whole story. Thanks for ruining everything, jerk!

Roo returned home after knocking on the door first to make doubly sure his mom wasn't otherwise busy with her new friend-for-the-day/evening/breakfast and then removed a pooh stick from her pouch that had gotten lodged there in her magical romp/ride back from Canada courtesy of Magic Carpet, and then returned it to the Fellowship of the Pooh.

They now have like 46 of those. What? What do you mean, you think? You weren't counting? Boy, you're just dead set on ruining everything.

The End.


End file.
